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Nov 29, 2009, 10:25am




Welcome to Velvet Shadows!
Land Info

Mid Summer
Quite warm. The shade is looking better and better.
Mating
YES.
Birthing
No.
News

Aug. 19. 2007. Congradulations to Kapu, our new Global Moderator!! Kapu has been given the position since I'm getting busier and busier and need a lot of help. Congrats and thank you for being one of Velvet's oldest members, active since th original VS!!
Aug. 4. 2007. Plot has been postponed. Date not decided.
July. 22. 2007. Okay I think we'll start the plot on Wednesday. Ill make the account then. Kapu & Me are playing the four baddies. There are no specifice good guys. You choose if your character will side with or against the baddies. Thanks!
July. 21. 2007. Alright everyone. I 'm really trying to bring so life back into this site because otherwise it is going to close down. This site has been my baby for a long time and I don't want to see it go so let's pick up the role-playing please =D Anyone who has suggestions or ideas feel free to PM me.
Packs

Sapphire Pack - 2 members
Diamond Pack - 5 members
Topaz Pack - 3 members
Amethyst Pack - 2 members





By the Admin:
Lomehedge

Lomehedge...a crumbled abbey. A once sacred, beauitiful place- now ruins, a home for wolves. To the east: the Outlands. A harsh and unforgiving place ruled by the strong. For centuries the Lomehedge and the Outlands pack have fought and grown and died, each time the pack would be started up again by new wolves- seeking to uphold the ancient glory of the two packs. Now is such a time when the packs must rebuild themselves, loners are welcomed into their midst. They are the next generation of the packs and they must make a decision: will this generation of packs be allies in the dark times approaching or will they turn to deceit, lies, warfare, murder and bloodshed like the generations before them.


Welcome to the world of Lomehedge, an intermediate/advanced wolf rp set in a fantasy world. Magic is not allowed but creativity is and if you enjoy role-playing or love wolves then this is a good place for you!

Lomehedge Wolf RP

Velvet Shadows RPG :: Search Results
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Result 1 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: AS (Read 7 times)
D
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 AS
« Result #1 on Mar 24, 2009, 1:24am »
[Quote]

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?"

Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..."

"Three? Well, when were they?" he asked.

"Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how the doctor came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Becky, you should do such a thingfor me, to save my l ife. I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. So, all right then, when was number 3?"

"Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short..?"
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Result 2 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Under The Table (Read 4 times)
gf52t5
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 Under The Table
« Result #2 on Mar 24, 2009, 1:23am »
[Quote]


Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100."

After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday.

Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left.

Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?" Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' Reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100."

"Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."

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Result 3 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Suspicious Mother (Read 5 times)
56f5hd5
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 Suspicious Mother
« Result #3 on Mar 24, 2009, 1:23am »
[Quote]


Brian invited his mother over for dinner.
During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep
noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.

Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and
Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I
doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure". So he sat down and wrote:

"Dear Mom: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from
the house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for

dinner. Love, Brian".

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:

"Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie; I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains
that if Stephanie is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

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Result 4 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Aunt Karens Moral (Read 3 times)
df2s65e
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 Aunt Karens Moral
« Result #4 on Mar 24, 2009, 1:23am »
[Quote]


The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment... Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.

One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.

We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen.

Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.

She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.

Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the f#ck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking"

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Result 5 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Happy Gorrila (Read 4 times)
f9d5e8
Guest
 Happy Gorrila
« Result #5 on Mar 24, 2009, 1:23am »
[Quote]


It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife
are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute,
loose-fitting, pink spring
dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal
jeans and a T-shirt.

The zoo is not very busy this morning.As they walk through
the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy
gorilla. Noticing the woman, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps
up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he
grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is
obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny.
He suggests that his wife teases the poor fellow some more.
The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom
at him, and play along.

She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making
noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps
fall to show a little more skin.

She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down.

"Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan
it at him." he says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy
and now he's doing flips.

Then the husband nabs his wife by the hair, rips open the
door to the cage, slings her into the cage with the gorilla
and slams the cage door shut. "Now, tell HIM you have a
headache . . . "

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Result 6 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Trip To Europe (Read 5 times)
fsd95e
Guest
 Trip To Europe
« Result #6 on Mar 24, 2009, 1:23am »
[Quote]


A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I¡¯m off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I¡¯ll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe. Plus he¡¯s screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry".

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Result 7 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Letters On The Skin (Read 6 times)
5gd59f
Guest
 Letters On The Skin
« Result #7 on Mar 24, 2009, 1:23am »
[Quote]


Three women at the doctors office. The first one goes in to see the doctor. When the doctor goes to examine her he notices a big Y on her chest.
The doctor asks, " Why do you have a big Y on your chest?"

She replys, " Well, my boyfriend went to Yale and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater."

The doctor nods and continues on with the next patient. When he examines her he notices a big H on her chest.

Agian, the doctor asks, " How did you get a big H on your chest?" The woman replys " My husband went to Harvard and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater."

The doctors just nods his head and continues on with the last patient. As he examines her he notices once again that this woman also has a letter on her chest. A large M.

He says, " Dont tell me, your boyfriend went to Michigan?"

" NO" replys the patient " But my girlfriend went to Wisconsin"

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Result 8 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: D (Read 6 times)
A
Guest
 D
« Result #8 on Mar 24, 2009, 1:22am »
[Quote]

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?"

Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..."

"Three? Well, when were they?" he asked.

"Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how the doctor came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Becky, you should do such a thingfor me, to save my l ife. I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. So, all right then, when was number 3?"

"Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short..?"
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Result 9 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Great Female Combacks (Read 1 time)
56f5hd5
Guest
 Great Female Combacks
« Result #9 on Mar 24, 2009, 1:21am »
[Quote]


Man "Haven't we met before?"
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man "Is this seat empty?"
Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "Your place or mine?"
Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman "It's in the phone book."

Man "But I don't know your name."
Woman "That's in the phone book too."

Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."

Man "What sign were you born under?"
Woman "No Parking."

Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman "Do not Enter"

Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman "Unfertilized"

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man "I know how to please a woman."
Woman "Then please leave me alone."

Man "I want to give myself to you."
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man "I can tell that you want me."
Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Woman "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man "Your body is like a temple."
Woman "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?


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Result 10 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Nude Tan (Read 5 times)
df2s65e
Guest
 Nude Tan
« Result #10 on Mar 24, 2009, 1:21am »
[Quote]


A rather well built woman, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation time sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. The first day she sunbathed, she wore a red bathing suit. However on the second day, she felt a little more adventurous. She slipped out of it in order to get an overall tan figuring that no one could see her way up there. She'd hardly began when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said a flustered little (out of breath) assistant manager of the hotel. "The Hilton doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday!"

"What difference does it make", Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here on the roof and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"With all due respect, not exactly ma'am," said the embarrassed little man. "You are lying on the dining room skylight."

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